Well, at least in our heads.
We talked football. Children. Winter. School. Our houses and the maintenance they create. Adoption. Overcoming.
When she left, it felt like time well spent. Even though I was watching the game from the corner of my eyes at the beginning.
My neighbor is not a believer. She doesn't have to be. Though GOD comes into every conversation because it is part of my life, it doesn't bother her, and I know she doesn't agree with everything I believe in. And that's ok.
The issue of victim-hood came into the conversation last night. Her child goes to catholic school, and all that it brings. Don't get me wrong. If we didn't homeschool, my kids would go to catholic school. Even if we are not catholic. Christian school wouldn't be an option. I'm not impressed. And public school? No. Just no.
Anyway, I was telling her how in group activities, kids usually prefer not to have Elena on their team. Because she just can't. But she can. She is constantly being told, you're not going to win, but you will! Maybe not first place, but there is something to be said about accomplishing personal goals! No you don't have to capability to compete with a 'healthy' bodied peer, but that doesn't mean you can't do it. Win your own battles.
She was shocked that I didn't tell my daughter she could do anything she wants to. She can't!! And it's ok!! She can do a lot. But she can never be her little sister, who seems to win every race she competes in. Or her brother who has daredevil tendencies.
It was a new concept for my friend.
My daughter is not a victim of bullying or put downs. Nor because she doesn't get bullied or put down, she does; but the best gift I can give my children besides seeking holiness, it not to be someone who has to be catered to. Please excuse my ending with a preposition.
Oh the tears. Oh the feeling of failure. Oh the disappointment.
But my child, moving on and being strong minded is the power that no one can take from you.
You can't change people. You can't change attitudes. You can't change opinions. But you can control your reaction. And victim-hood is not the answer. What a joke.
This is our child of hope. ( the plaque behind her is my favorite quote. Ever. It applies to everyone.)
Her smile, her perseverance, her joy, her struggles, her smarts, her laughter...be still my heart.
What a gift!!
How can I make her a victim?!?
Go against the tide, my child. The world has nothing to offer.
Stand on the 2 feet GOD gave you.
Use the courage and strength HE instilled in you.
And go serve your GOD everywhere HE places you.
And you will conquer the world! Or at the very least, the corner HE gave you.