I was watching the debate about Obamacare that are going on this week.

Let me rephrase that.

My son was watching the Obamacare debates that are going on this week.  I was listening to them while doing stuff.

I had no intention of doing that.  Quite frankly, I can't care too much.  If I do, I will go insane.  I will get so angry and frustrated and the ignorance and stupidity of the choice we, as a nation, made on election night.

I get so angry at the double speak of our politicians.  At the 'look how good we are doing as a nation.' ( Yes I know I said good, it is what they were saying.  :P )

Still, I was glad I listened to it.  It kind of inspires me that maybe DC is not completely full of foolish/what's-another-word-for-idiot people. Mind you it is full, but not completely full.

Unfortunately, the majority weighs in.

Oh well.

Anyway, moving on.  I am teaching Spanish 1 to my son.  I dreaded it when I taught the older children.  One learned it, the other probably can't say 'Hola!'

This one, on the other hand, well... it has been quite fun!  WhO KnEw??!??!  Maybe because he has been wanting to learn it for so long.  Maybe because he wants to impress his grandparents, and saying his first sentence ( Can I please have food?) makes him feel like a million bucks.  No matter why, it can only get more fun as time goes on.  He is proud of his hispanic heritage.  Actually, all my kids are.  I made sure.

Let me back-track here a little bit.

I have a multi- cultural family.

People ask me how I can possibly raise an African American child?  Will she feel black?  Will she support her people?  Will she understand her heritage?  The same people never ask those things about our Chinese daughter.

To which I say...duh.

Our goal with our kids is for them to love their heritage, be identified by it, but NOT defined by it.

See obviously you are identified by it.  Look at us!!  But they should never define us.  Our faith should define us.  Will she support her people?  Of course!!  As will our Asian child.  They will support the human race.  Those are their people.  Will she feel black?  I don't know.  I have yet to figure out what feeling hispanic feels or looks like.  Is it prejudice that will be experienced?  I have had prejudice thrown at me for being hispanic/Christian/a stay at home mom/homeschooling/holistic/not thin.

Whatever.

The girls will learn to discern stupidity and move on.  Prejudice people will hate and if it is not your skin color/eyes/gender/whatever, they will find something else.  Prejudice comes from insecurity and ignorance.

AND not for nothing, the girls are also learning Spanish.  They are so excited every time they go to my parents.  They are chomping at the bit to learn it so they can converse with my mom & me.  And watch the soaps with my mom and actually understand them.

Seriously...

What kind of hispanic-chinese-africans will they be without it??!!??!



Moving on.

 The Emmys were last night!  Right??!!  Am I wrong?  To tell you the truth, I don't even know what  kind of award that is.  Music?  Tv? Broadway?  Who knows.  Who cares.  Last night, we had pupusas for dinner and life was good!

I went to my daughter's new house and once again, thought..."GOD is good!"

I laughed at the girls' 5 & 6 year old made up jokes, and laughed, not because they were funny, but because they couldn't stop laughing and that was funny.

SO, politicians?  They need our prayers.

Obamacare?  Maybe it will drive us to our knees.

Heritage? Love it, but don't let it rule you.

Life?  GOD is good.

Vision.

Our brother in law gave us a vision about 14 years ago.

We had no money, and had not thought that this idea was even viable for us.

After all, we were(are) on the bottom half of the middle class American family status.

Adoption is not cheap.

Nor is it a fun process.

Plus, who did we think we were??!??!

Did we have what it takes to parent a child not of my womb?  Did we want to take the time to learn to love this child? bond with him or her? Take the good, bad, ugly, tears, frustration, resentment, joy, laughter, delight, love, tenderness and issues that they bring.  And they ALL bring issues?

Of course the answer is...

no.

BUT

GOD does! 

In HIM, we are able to take the good & bad.

In HIM we are able to handle the process, both in the paperwork, which can I say, is horrible, the bonding, which is hard, the work involved once they come home.

HE provided the finances, or at least the resources/possibility to pay it off.

Slowly if need be.

In HIM we can look at these faces and not 'see' the differences. 

In HIM we see the eyes of hope and yes, sometimes fear that they will be shipped off some place else if they do not behave.  

In HIM we remind them they are with us FOREVER.  They cannot get rid of us.  And we get to hear the laughter of relief, shaded with a little fear, still.

We have 2 baby girls that are not of my womb.

We have 2 girls that ask hard questions, like why did the mommy who had us in their belly not want us?  Why do you want us?

We have 2 girls who laugh with abandonment.  Cry with hopelessness.

We have 2 girls who remind us almost daily, of GOD's love for us.

At the end of the day, we would not change any of it. 

Why am I randomly talking about this??!!?

Every year,  I want to do an Orphan Sunday event.

Remind the church of the simplicity of remembering.

Remembering orphans.

Remembering our life is not about us.

Remembering the American dream is really a nightmare in the faith.

Remembering our abundance is not for us to keep, but to bless.

Remembering we, too, are adopted, grafted and became part of the Family.

Will I do it?

Probably not.

People don't want  to be reminded.

They want to be encouraged in their lifestyle.

:::sigh:::

Maybe we will attend a church that is doing it!!!

Maybe we will attend an adoption event at a park somewhere, where we parents can come together and rejoice in the joy and yes, even the pain.

Regardless, if nothing happens, if no one remembers, we will.

We can't help it.

They come tumbling down every morning.

They remind us skin color/eye shape/nationality has nothing to do with love.

GOD does.

It is a good reminder.

First Day of School

Today is this Family's 1st day of school.

It is actually this Family's - 23rd first day of school.

By my calculations I have 11 of these to go before I can retire!!!!

Which got me thinking...HoLy MosEs.  I try not to think too hard on this, but I will be...57!!!!

57.

That is a pretty darn high number if you ask me.

Probably the reason no one is asking me.

I would really like to have a moment of silence as we think about this, and I would like to have a 'woe-to-me'  pity party.














Thank you.  I appreciate it.

On to bigger and different things.

Samuel is in high school.

Who knew this moment would sneak up on me so quickly.  I was driving the other day and passed a far from home pharmacy, which reminded me of the year when he turned one year old, and we spent the day before in the hospital because he had pneumonia.  It honestly didn't seem like that long ago.

:::Sigh::: now he is taller, stronger, more snarky than I am.

Sheesh.

Randomness:

I am thinking of taking up drinking coffee.

Seriously, my husband is a morning person.  I am not.

So he wakes up and starts conversations, discussions and arguments as I am trying to focus my eyes to the ceiling above my bed without my glasses on.

Obviously he 'wins' these conversations and arguments.  :P

It's like if I did that while he was snoring on the couch at 9pm.  I could run circles around him and don't even have to make sense!!!!  I could prove my point without much effort.

But if I drank coffee...!!!!!!

Still thinking on it, though.  I tend to be addited to it, which is why I haven't had any is 24 years.

We will see.

I have been thinking about coloring my gray.  I think I am almost decided that I am going to pass.  I think I will let the gray take over. For now and probably a few more years.

 Right now, it is just in the front.  Maybe I will color later, maybe not.

But...who needs that kind of maintanance??!!??!  I have friends who go every 6 weeks to get their roots done or a totally new color.

If you know anything about me, 6 weeks of maintanance for the rest of my life is just not my cup of tea.  Or my cup of anything for that matter.  I should take better care of myself, but I think I will take better care of myself in the health department.

Speaking of...

I am praying about doing a small-ish triatholon.  WAY smaller than the regular one.  My crazy daughter is all excited about it.  We will see.  If I do it, I think the swimming part is going to be the worst. Who am I kidding?  I don't have to think it, it WILL be the worst part.  I hate swimming.  More than running.

Why do I do these things??!!??!

Because I can't.  So I make myself.  And I gripe all through the training.  And I scowl at people when they talk about it, refusing to add anything to the conversation. And I blame said daughter for my misery. And I curse myself for signing up when I wake up at 6am to go to the gym. And I drag Samuel out of bed to go with me because misery loves company, doggone it, and someone should be as miserable as I am.

And then I cross the finish line.

And it was all worth it.

Even if everyone else finished long ago, I still did it.

SO...starting Monday, the training begins.

Ending on this note:


FOOTBALL STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!

WOO-HOO!!!

GOD is good.  All the time.

HOME

We are home.

And as much as we love New England and enjoyed this...

...and breakfast overlooking the ocean...

...and sun all day, so much that we all came back looking like we were trying to catch up to Christian's skin color....

...and having the whole family, including grandbaby boys, stay together at the house all week...

We came home.  

After a summer like this summer, when we were away almost as much as we were home, it felt GREAT to unpack and put away the duffle bags, knowing it was for a long time.  

Or at least until October.

My sons at Mystic Pizza.  We go there WAY too often.  :P  Seriously. 

I begged and tried to get the family to go someplace else, but evidently, I can't mess with tradition.

Whatever.

My handsome with our youngest son.

2 peas in a pod.

Even though he looks like his brother, he has his father's personality.

Now, I get back to reality.  I will start cracking the books tomorrow, in order to get myself together for school.  It is just a whisper away from starting and I believe this year, I am behind. 

Which is not a good plan when our son starts high school.

But have no fear.  It will get done in time.

Speaking of school, last night I checked out the college we are thinking about in order to make sure we get everything in order and requirements are met if he decides to go.

College decision is definitely not a free for all in our home.  So picking a school is very intensive and backed up by much prayer.

And actually going to college is an option, not a requirement.  If by chance, his decision for his future requires it, then good golly, we will make sure he can get in.  But if he decides another option is better for his life, then I will still educate him to the best of my ability, we will do our best to get doors open for his choice, help along the way, and wish him well.

  I know, I know.

College is the 'holy grail' of life in the world.

But not in our home.

GOD, HIMSELF is the holy grail, and learning constant surrender to HIM is our goal.

Everything else is on another list.

Don't get me wrong.  Education is very important.  But it is not GOD.  It never will be.  I don't need bragging rights.  

I desire holy living.

And for my sons to be able to provide for their families. 

I remember in Proverbs there is a saying I will paraphrase:

Don't make me rich that I will forget you, don't make me poor that I steal and dishonor you.

And I add: 

And please don't make me lukewarm, that I am comfortable with the world.

Enough on my sermon.

It is good to be home.

And to look forward to school.

And to sacrifice for HIM in order to live.

Life is good.  GOD is even better!! 

Africa

See this beautiful girl?  She is our daughter.

She is delightful, a joy, mischievous, is learning to love Jesus, and finds ways to be a blessing.

She is athletic, tall, loves to learn, explore, and also humble.

She is from DRC.

 It took us a while to get her.  Mostly due to state side paper work.  It was exhausting, expensive and we saw the incompetence while working with cis.  Sometimes I would tell myself, they are just making sure, they are just making sure.  Except for the fact that their 'making sure' cost us more money at every turn.  hmmmm....

Facebook is something that I was not really interested in, in general.  I was one of the last of my friends to get it. I got it because it was a photobucket for my oldest daughter when she lived in VA.  She wanted to 'see' everything all the time.  FB made it easy.  I got one with a pseudo-ish name.  I wasn't ( still not, really) interested in finding friends I haven't seen in 462 years.  After all, if that was important to me, I would still talk to them.

I utilize it more from information than anything.  Yes, I do 'see' friends from afar and it works well for that, too.  But in general, info, baby, info.

One of my favorite movies, probably top 5 is The Constant Gardener.  It is was made from a John La Carre book but got me thinking.  Made me start research, both sides because quite frankly, I did not want to believe the Big Pharma Thing out there.  I'd heard some things for years, and saw things I denied in my heart and researching would have caused me to rethink and I knew one of us was wrong.  I wasn't about to let it be me.

I love to research things; sometimes, though, it takes me a little longer to start because of pride.

The movie also gave me a peek into Africa, though adopting from there was not even close to being on our radar at the time.  Our youngest son went to Africa for 6 weeks, I asked him if that was what it looked like.  He got that far away look in his eyes, remembering, and said, " Exactly."

I just gave you 3 random things, that have virtually nothing to do with each other.

On the surface.

On facebook yesterday, someone who is in our loop who is adopting from DRC posted this article.

Please take time to read it, even if you don't finish my tirade here.

On first reading, I was SO thankful our daughter is home.  I am no longer in that part of that process, I can continue to bond with her, can hug her, tickle her, laugh with her, teach her, read to her... yes, we have our daughter.

Then I read it again, and that is when I read the other stuff.

And seriously, it ticked me off.

I know someone from our DRC loop that, well,  2 of her 3 children died while she was waiting, doing and redoing her paper work to bring them home.  Another had her son die.  Time and again I read the emails asking for prayer because #1. they are devastated and grieving or #2. their child is in serious need of medical/emtional help and needs to get home.

Having gone through the process of foreign adoption 2x in 3 years, from different nations, I know that side of politics.

Having researched from books, internet, actual people, medical articles, political articles, etc... on the devastation of the 'altruistic' movement of 'certain' companies, it ticks me off even more.

I hate to be so cynical.  Really,  sometimes I think it can't be GODly.  But then GOD told us to be 'shwred are serpents, innocent as doves'.




So, see how it all ties in together?



I get it.  There are evil people who are in the buying/selling of children and sometimes these children get in to the adoption circle.  Truly tragic, and I can understand the investigations and process.  I whole heatedly agree with it.  But once it is done, what is the problem??!?

I get the, why adopt?  Why not send money out there to help the families do it themselves?  Again, I agree.  But what happens to the orphans?  What happens to the children whose parents died from malnutrition, diseases, war, were abandoned, have no hope, or very little hope to make it to age 5?  What happens when the adult family members can't feed everyone?  Seriously people, kids are still dying and we never hear of it.

Our daughter's father died in the after-war war.  Her mother was deathly sick when she brought her in to the orphanage. Her mom asked and wrote letters requesting her daughter be given a chance, to be adopted, to give her hope. We have them.  Our daughter was 2 years old and weighed 19 pounds.

After hearing something interesting, challenging or just random in general, My first question is...who benefits what?

At the end of the day, unfortunately, money talks, everything else walks.

Sad but true.

If you think of it, or if GOD brings it to your mind, please pray for those orphans waiting for a chance.  Pray for the parents whose arms are still empty, waiting.  I remember those years.  They are awful.

And if you read the article, you know international adoptions here in the USA have gone down 60% in the past 8 years.  :::sigh:::  If you can't adopt, maybe sponsor?  Maybe pray?  Maybe get out there and live amongst those who need help...  but definitely seek HIS face for your role in this situation.

Remember, Jesus never said our lives were meant to be lived for ourselves.

It is time to get out of the American Church where wealth and prosperity reigns, were our retirement plan is supreme. It is time to go out into the world and live it out.  Even if the world you are called to is across the street, get out there!!  Children and their parents are dying, if not physically, most certainly spiritually.

And here we are, thinking about what to wear to church on Sunday morning.

I am just as guilty, so don't think I am pointing the finger at you.  I am looking in the mirror, and I certainly do not like what I see.

Do you?

Lessons learned, or trying to learn.

We took some of our youth to Cleveland 2 weeks ago.

It was the most physically uncomfortable time of my adult life, but it was one of the best times I have walk through.  We stayed in a synagogue-turned-church that had no air conditioning, and we slept on the 4th floor.

I had to keep reminding myself, people used to live in this weather and wear long sleeve shirts and long dresses with layers underneath.  So I had to keep telling myself: Buck up Buttercup.

I learn a few lessons that week.  I really went just to chaperone and prayed furiously for the teens and the people we were going to minister to, but hadn't thought to pray for myself.

Still GOD shows up in spite of ourselves.

Lesson #1: Never stop believing GOD still does great things.  Not that I don't know that intellectually, but watching it with my own four eyes, not being the American cynic, remembering GOD ALMIGHTY, CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH is still at work, if only we opened our eyes, or even gave HIM a chance to work...  reminds me of my immaturity in HIM. :::sigh:::

Lesson #2: Give a teen a purpose and s/he will fulfill it.  Again intellectually I know this, why do we dumb down and expect so little from them??!!??!

Lesson #3:  Think BIG!  Seriously, no one thinks big anymore.  They just think money.  Or self purpose. Or personal desires.  Think big means get out of your self and go against the flow.

I came home and reflected, and am still reflecting on some of these.

A few days ago, I watched a documentary.  I love documentaries.  Lately, I have been watching nutrition & lifestyle documentaries, and quite frankly, I am tired of them.  Well, not tired, but need a break.  So the other night, I was looking through Netflix documentaries and decided to watch 180South.  I don't know why I picked it, but I don't regret it.

I think about 'why' a lot.  Mostly coming from my faith, or lack thereof.  How to challenge myself to seek HIM deeper.

Believe it or not, this movie helped me in this area.  The only reference they made to any sort of religion was one buddist-based sentence.  But still, as I watched, GOD kept showing up, kept talking to me through this film.

GOD is good.  All the time.

I am about  to embarking on a scary unknown.  At least to me.

But HE is good.

And I will cling to HIM, through the fear, through the tears, through the unknown.  I did not pick this, but it is mine.

And I will continue to reflect and try to learn more lessons.  I love to learn.  Even when I don't want to. Actually, those are the lessons that are the best.

Ask HIM to give you some lessons.

HE is faithful.

I leave you with these quotes from the movie: 

(excuse the 'french', but it speaks to me)

The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn't even think to ask.~ Jeff Johnson

Taking a trip for six months to get in the rhythm of it. It feels like you can go on forever doing that. Climbing Everest is the ultimate and the opposite of that. Because you get these high powered plastic surgeons and CEO's, they pay $80,000 and have sherpas put the ladders in place and 8000 feet of fixed ropes and you get to the camp and you don't even have to lay out your sleeping bag. It's already laid out with a chocolate mint on the top. The whole purpose of planning something like Everest is to effect some sort of spiritual and physical gain and if you compromise the process, you're an asshole when you start out and you're an asshole when you get back. ~ Yvon Chouinard

Denial.

Tonight, Samuel and I watched an Areosmith video.  You know....Don't Want To Miss A Thing.

I told him that he probably did it because his daughter was in the movie.

To which he responded...and I quote:  " WHAT?"

Me:  " You know, his daughter."

Samuel: " WHAT?"

Me " Liv Tyler, his daughter."

Samuel: ' WHAT??!!??!!"

Me: " Well, look at them, you can see the resembelence!"

Samuel:  " WHAT??!!??!"


Me: just staring at him.

Samuel:  "NO WAY!!!!"


It took google and seeing some pictures to convince him that Steve TYLER could be Liv TYLER's father.

He is still appalled.  In in semi-denial.

Guys.

Whatever.


But still it also made me in the mood to watch the movie again.  Not a chance, WhO HaS tHe TiMe??!!?, but it is a nice thought.

Tonight, he also found his long lost retainer.  And now he is moaning and groaning as his teeth TRY to get back into place.

Because quite frankly, it makes me mad to have spent so much money and him mess it up by constantly losing his retainers.

He thought, " Oh I'll find it, pop it in my mouth and it will be fine, mom."

Go upstairs and look at his face.  Not as fine as he thought.

He was in denial.

Again.

My turn.

I will be okay when I chaperone our church's teens missions trip next week, and be so busy I probably will not miss the girls.

Duh.

Denial.

I am actually looking forward to going and pray we have a holy and fun time, but #1, I WILL miss the girls, terribly and #2 it will be the first time I do this without The Love of My Life.  We have always done this together, but he is so busy with work, he can't go this time around, and denial #3:it is okay.  It is really not okay, but it is.  If you get what I mean.  Not sure I like it, but it is not about me.

Denial.  It is more than the river in Egypt.  Sometimes it is a way of life.