Sometimes, I can't help but feel defeated.

I know one should not be ruled by feelings.  Rightfully so.

But sometimes the rejection is so painful...

Clinging to the Cross.

Because that's all I have.

And it will be enough.

In the midst of the pain and acceptance.  In the midst of the rejection and panic.

It will be enough.

HOPE!

I got an email this morning, and I was disappointed.  Again.

The thing is, I KNEW this would happen, I prepared for it.  I made sure that the people had every opportunity to disappoint me. And in doing so, preparing myself for the inevidable.  In fact, I made it so that they could disappoint me without me actually knowing about it!!  But, alas.   :P

I don't know why I allow myself to hope in this relationship.  To tell you the truth, I will probably never give up hope.  I will be a fool.  I will put myself out there... when they let me.  I will continue to put the ball in their court, wait and hope.

While the other part of me will be defeated.

Again.

Oh well.

GOD is good.  HE has provided others to fill in the relationships.  HE has been abundant.  HE has been more than graceful.

I will be thankful.

Moving on.

In a week is our anniversary.  I guess I was thinking about it this morning because last night, the girls and I wanted to watch Duck Dynasty's episode of when Miss Kay & Phil renewed their wedding vows.  It was beautiful.  Not because of anything other than the fact that they really had some rough times.  And their motto is pretty much...To GOD be the glory. great things HE has done.

That is a good motto.

John was thinking of complaining because he doesn't rewatch anything.  When he started to say something, I quickly mentioned that the girls requested it and knew that he would not say anything else.  Because after all, they are his baby girls and then the discussion was over.  This happens with the 25 year old baby girl, too.  Still.

We are going to be at a mere 29 years.  I would love to do out vows at our 30th.  John is not a rewatch OR redo kind of guy.  I can dream right?  I mean, look at the beginning of this post.  lol.

Yes, people, I am a fool.

I'm ok with that.

On another note, grandbaby boy #2 is going to have his first birthday in 2 months!!!

Why am I mentioning this 2 months ahead of time?  Maybe because we do 1st birthdays big.  The basic list already has 34ish people on it.  And thats just my people.  I haven't asked my daughter & son in law for their list yet.  Or son in law's parents. lol.   I love birthdays.  Specially first birthdays.  <3

Speaking of birthdays, The Chinese Peanut has one coming up soon.  Like 12 days soon!!!  She will be 7.  Which blows my mind.  She, too,  is my rock and my peace.  Her trust in me is undeserved and humbling, something I have to live up to constantly.  Which makes me thankful.

OK, kiddos are finished with their quiet work, back to teaching!

Seek HIM.  Be holy.  Open yourselves up to others.  Even if they reject you.  Again.

New Year, Same Hope

YES!  It's a new year!  Yes, I still have the same hope!!!  It's not a *yawn* old hope that I haven't yet achieved and I have to keep recycling.

Not to lose weight, though that would be great.  Not to eat better, though that is the plan. Not to get more organized, though I do need help in that.  Not to declutter my house, though I will try.

It is my hope, my desire to walk more closely to my King.

WOO-HOO!!

Who could desire anything else???

It excites me.  It encourages me.  It keeps me on HIS path.

New Year...SAME HOPE!!!!!    :D


Christmas was good.  The whole family was together.  Who can't have a good Christmas that way??!!?

Yesterday was Boo's Gotcha Day!!!

Four years ago yesterday, she was placed in our arms, we spent an hour signing our life away, and got a better life.

The day we got her.

Three weeks ago.

Its amazing what 4 years does to a kid.  

Anyway.

We went to the city last week, and it was crazy!!!  I wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History, see the whale and have the girls be amazed at GOD's creations, but when we got there, the line to get in was out the door, around the corner and made its way back and down the street.

TO GET IN!!!!

WhAt??!!??!

Needless to say, we didn't go there.  We went to the Met.  And saw Mary Magdalene's tooth.  Again.

(When Samuel was little, this would fascinate him and we had to see it every single time we went.) 

My nieces saw it for the first time.

It looks like a tooth.

Moving on.

Anyway.  Back to the school routine.  Which is good.

And to seeking HIS face.  Which is very good.

May you desire to seek him deeply this year.

You will not regret it.

It won't be easy, and sometimes you may wish you were not on this journey.  But looking back, you will NEVER regret it.

Way too busy, or Slacker?

I feel like a slacker.

Usually I am so busy, I don't get to do other things I also need to do, therefore feeling like a slacker for not doing the other stuff done.

For Example:

Christian's birthday is on Monday!!!

Last year, it was her first birthday here, her English was not so good,  and at the same time, our oldest child had gotten married 2 days before, and Christmas was 2 days later.

Can we say whirlwind??!!?

RIGHT?

So as not to ignore it all together from the business of it all, we invited her little friend, family, had pizza, cake & presents.  It was good.

I had no excuse this year.  And I didn't want one!

I had a list of 5 little friends and a plan.  My oldest daughter and I discussed it planned it and are excited about.  The only problem is, I forgot to tell the 5 little ones until... TODAY!!!!

Thankfully, I have good friends who don't offend easily and are on the same boat as I am, and the graciously showed their support by laughing at me.

I love my friends.

Because at the end of the day, all of those 5 little ones are coming.

Life is good.

This week has been interesting.

I got violently sick on Tuesday.  Lets just say I lost about 4 pounds in one day.  Use your imagination.  Last night, Samuel started hurling at 10:30ish pm.  And didn't stop until 7 this morning.  Needless to say, he has slept all day trying to catch up on his sleep and recoup his strength.

Then, to top it off, I just found out my husband has been hurling at work since 4 this afternoon.   Why he is still there is  beyond me.  I called him and he sounded terrible.  My poor love.  And he can't afford to lose 1/2 pound!!!!!

To top it off...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.

It is only 6 days until Christmas.

I am up to 5 gifts.  :P

Pray for me.

No wonder no one reads this. I forget to update.

SO, last night, for pizza & movie night at our house, we watched Here Comes The Boom.  Wait...is that the name of that movie?  I think it is.  It was predictably sweet.  My kind of movie.

We really should be watching all the Christmas movies on our shelf.  Oh well.

Now, I am not telling you this because it was such a great movie, though it was cool and weird to see The Fonz so old.  After the movie, we switched it back to tv mode and The Fellowship of the Rings was on.It had about 1/2 hour left.

WHOA!!!!

I forgot how great those movies are!!!

Mind you, we own the trilogy.  Both in regular version and extended version.  But we were too lazy ( and cold) to go to the basement and get them.  We just kept on watching it on tv.  STILL!!  They show EVERYTHING!  Even when the heads were getting Chopped off!!!  Sheesh.

Youngest son went to go see the new Hobbit movie with his friends last night.  I still have yet to see the first one. We own it.  We got it the week it came out.

I probably should see it, but now I want to see the other 2 LOTR movies instead.

I need a life.  

And another 10 hours in a day, AT LEAST.

Moving on.

Our anniversary is next month.  I remembered this this morning because today would have been my sister & bro-in-law's anniversary.  Yup.  Still miss him.  And it reminded me to pray for my dear sister, who in my opinion, lives way too far away.

I saw this picture yesterday on FB and actually posted it on my wall.  It was a REALLY elderly couple kissing and it said What GOD has joined together...

It reminded me to keep running the race of faith.  And boy is our marriage a race of faith in our faith.  Not saying it is bad, well it is sometimes it is. It does have it's potholes, cracks, loads of twists and turns and even some serious drops into the abyss, but I think almost everyone I know can say the self same thing about their marriage at one point or another.

It is all on the altar of Faith.  Its survival, its growth, its joy.

I also remember WAY BACK when we were celebrating our 10th anniversary, how I wanted to play this song:

I think about how I thought we had done such a great accomplishment by being married for 10 years.

Little did I know what the next 19 years would bring.

Now I think I should wait at least another 21 years, on our 50th anniversary to actually deserve a song like that.

This picture is OLD.

It is about 5 years old, when I was a young 41 years.  Now I am closer 50. 

He had short hair back then.  :::sigh:::  I am a fan of short hair on men.  Though now I am so used to his long hair, it is OKish.

We need more pictures together.  I think I have about 4 from these past 5 years.  

I am the picture taker, so I am usually behind the camera.

ANYWAY, seeing this picture ...yup, I love this guy.  

Love is never a given.  Nor is it a feeling.

It is a daily choice.  A job that never ends.  A sacrifice.  A decision to live your life...well. not about you.

Yup.  I love this guy.

In other news.

I am NOT ready for Christmas.

Seriously.  I have 2 gifts.  :P

It is snowing today, but I am going out anyway.

I enjoy Christmas shopping.  Hopefully I will be done this week.  The hardest people will be my sister and her kids.  They are IMPOSSIBLE.  Still it will be fun to look for and find the right gift for them.  THAT may take me the longest.  Who am I kidding.  I hope I can have that challenge done by Christmas Eve.  I guess no matter how hard I try, there is always the receipt so they can take it back.

So...how disappointing is it that both the Steelers and Giants are doing so badly??!!??  They have the same record.  Nothing to brag about.   Who to cheer for the playoffs this year?  Denver is a given.  I love the Manning brothers.  And of course Green Bay.  Other than that...

I love football.  Have I ever mentioned that?

I do.

OK, I have spent enough time here.  There are songs to be sung, food to make, cookies to bake, gifts to buy, movies to watch, books to read, girls to enjoy, teenage boy to survive, husband to love, friends to see, floor to vacuum, clothes to wash.

You get the point.

Until next time:

SEEK HIS FACE! 

  

Holy Moses, is it December already?!?!?!?

Let me begin by saying, it is cold.  I am ashamed to say that I need to buy Daisy a new coat.  She is so scrawny and skinny, every time she goes outside to do her 'business' she is shivering like crazy.  I am an anti-get-your-dog-a-sweater/coat.  Someone has a weird sense of humor.  

And then to top it off, Kipper will need a sweater also.  

Someone is out to get me.  :P

He recently got his haircut, and now he is shivering, too.

Reilly on the other hand is SO FAT he has enough to keep him warm even if he went to the Arctic.

Moving on.

The son had a birthday.

It was just family, one of his best friends and another friend ( not that way) who came to observe a Hispanic family celebrating.

Thanksgiving came with the 'twins' performing in their first production (which spans decades) as part of the Cousins Circle Players.

It was a musical.

Dancing with bog brother.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  It forces family together with out the stress of gifts, but still keeping GOD in HIS place as Provider and Giver of all good things.

Still soon after our wonderful meal, we were on to getting the tree.

The whole crew came.  Well, not the whole crew, our son and his wife were not able to make it, but the rest of the kids came, as well as my niece and her fiance.

It was getting dark by the second and we had to find a tree QUICK!!

And here it is!!!

Meet our tree.  We should name him.

How about Troy?

Thankfulyl the Conts. also found a good tree in time.  Once it got dark the place is not lighted so...

The grandson loves to 'drive'. Peanut #2 was freezing.

John with his vegan cupcake on his birthday celebration.

We are gearing up for what will hopefully be a holy advent season.  Always trying to keep HIM in the center of the holiday season, as well as enjoying traditions with the kids.

I pray you may see HIS Coming as the gift that it truly is!

You make me feel like crying/dancing.

This was not a good day.  By many accounts.

GOD will always be good, and praise HIM for even days like this.

And then to top it off, 

Boo has pink eye, and that being the case, Missy girl may have been next in line.

We treated it naturally and it is about gone.  Today, after church, we were suppose to go paint my daughter & son-in-law's home.

(BTW, have I told you how much I love their home?  She has made it so comfy and homey. Add to that that she is a good mommy, I love being there.  But my favorite part about their home?  How much they both love it.  <3  )

Anyway, the girls and I stayed home so as not to spread 'the love'.

We raked for a little while until I realized, it was dumb.  The wind was doing a good job of putting them all back on the lawn.  So I will go to Home Depot and get some bags tomorrow.

We came in and I let the girls watch The Incredibles for the first time.

They LOVED it.  :)

I watched this documentary on Netflix.

It is called Stuck, and it went through the problems of international adoption and its process.

I believed it to be about how we should do more to help the bio-parents be able to keep their children in their own home.  I am ALL for that.  

And though it did touch on that, it also gave the reality that even if they did that, there are still so.many.orphans. that are still being abandoned and in need of homes.

Watching it took me back to all out technical difficulties.  And seriously, we had difficulties up the wazoo. ( Can I say that?)   I remember the anger and tears.  You can't explain it, until you walk or crawl through it.

I highly recommend it.  It made me wish we had more money/room.

Speaking of our 'imported' jewels, they were SO excited and jealous that their brother was able to go to a ball, in which the girls attending HAD to wear ball gowns.  They have their ball gowns all ready to go.  You can have a Chinese and an African Cinderella in no time flat.  Just say the word and they will make your head spin.

Still, they loved on him before he left.

Do you think anyone will know who he is?  I was trying to talk him into wearing his batman mask.  

Her hair is almost Pocahontas long.  Which is her goal.  She has so many difficulties in her little life, and she is slowly overcoming those that she can, that letting her grow and helping her take care of her long hair is such an easy thing to do for her.  She loves it, and she can keep it until she is done.  If she is ever done.

And hey, everyday she checks to see if any of her teeth are loose.  All her little friends ( and even her little sister) have lost a tooth or two.

Hers are holding on for dear life.

Her hair is growing also.  We are so excited!!!  I am getting the hang of her hair maintenance.  Granted it has been over a year, but HEY, I started from less than no knowledge.  If that is possible.

She is getting another set of braids right before Thanksgiving.

I am still learning how to do styles.  Not real good at that, but give me some more time.

Start her laughing... oh.my. she will put a smile on your face you just can't seem to wipe off once she starts her laughter.  And it doesn't take much.

My he-wishes-he-was-a-nerd son.  He is wearing my glasses and wishing he needed them for real.

I think only those who don't have them wish they needed them.  The rest of us wish we didn't have to be bothered.

Such is life.

Anyway, he came home late and had a great time at the ball last night.

He and his friends laughed and danced and just enjoyed the night away.

These are the good things about high school.

But don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go back there for nothing!!!