veganism, oils and life.

Let me begin by saying I am not a vegan.

Not even a vegetarian.

But by default, I am living a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle.

Granted the children and I DO eat meat ( mostly chicken) about twice a week.  Sometimes even 3x!!  WOO-HOO!

It has been about 9 months since my husband went vegan.  In that time I have had to come up with way too many creative things to do with beans.

My husband is not only a vegan, but a soy less vegan.

See...most vegan cookbooks I got out of the library, and I am thankful they have great ones, assume that you use soy.  SO their recipes, which look amazing, cannot be done for this man.

I should get a medal or something for putting up with this and actually making it happen.

Because quite frankly, it makes me crazy.

During this time, I am getting a fair education on natural living.  I have been wanting to do this for decades.  But the love of my life was not interested.  At the time.

Now, not only do we try to eat healthier, organic and smarter, but also how we deal with things that DO come up.  Such as colds, the flu, stomach viruses, etc.

It has been about 2 years since we have had over the counter meds.  OR prescription medication.

Not that we haven't gotten sick or had issues.  But now we deal with them naturally.  And it has been fantastic!!

Some people have accused us of being fanatics and deviating from GOD because of this.

I find that funny in a sad kind of way.  Starting with the fact that I have NEVER pushed our lifestyle on people.  If they are interested, we can talk, but if not, I say nothing.  I know no one can convince anyone else to their side.  It has to be desired.

And HEY... did not GOD give this to us?  Did HE not provide natural cures for HIS people just for the taking?  And yet, how does taking prescription meds more GODLY?

duh.

I watch football.  I love football.  There show allopathic commercials  during games.  Samuel and I always time how long the warnings are.  There has never been a time when the warnings did not last WAY longer than the benefits.  It has become a game for us.  Almost laughable if not for the fact that millions of people are calling their doctors and ask for said medication.  Then it is no longer funny but tragic.

Now don't get me wrong, I am thankful for allopathic medicine in some instances, for example if my child breaks his or her arm, I do not want to go to the emergency room and have someone say, 'here eat an apple'.  duh.

I just think too often, there are things we can do to benefit our body first, way many more natural options before  trying to fix it and not harm it else where.

Moving on...

Like I mentioned before, I signed up for 1/2 marathon #4.

I think I am crazy.  And maybe a little delusional.  OR maybe just a glutton for punishment.

OR maybe I will not go to the gym unless there is a goal to reach.  And to show just how pathetic I am, before you think I am this person who has their act together ( HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) getting in shape is not a good enough reason for me to wake up at 5:45 in the morning to go to the gym.

No sirree.  There has to be a GOOD reason to get up that early.

The SUPER HERO 1/2 is it....

Seriously, I CANNOT WAIT to wear a cape!!!

In honor of doing this, my daughter got me a book.

How to Train Like A Mother.


If it wasn't that she is so excited, and she is a natural runner herself,  I would think she was evil.

And hey, why is there not a book called How To Train Like A Grandmother?

I should write it.

The first chapter would be called, "Are you 7 Kinds of Stupid??!!??"  And the second, " Put Down The Running Shoes and Go Bake Some Cookies."

Now thats my kind of book!!!

Here It Comes!!

New Years is about 5+ hours away.

It has been some kind of year.  Great, scary, funny, sad, happy, hard, learning, escaping, denying, facing...



I like New Years.

It makes you feel like you can start again.  I can afford to start again.  And again.

And again.

School is going okay.  It will get better.  We are doing a new schedule when we start in January.  More for my sake than the girls.  Oh, probably for Samuel's sake, too.

Speaking of Samuel, I am thankful for the opportunity to spend so.much.time. on my knees.

It is tough.

Tougher than I want to talk about.

Or think about.

Or face.

But GOD is good.  And I am thankful.

I am thankful GOD allows free will.  I am thankful I can't 'save' anyone.  I am thankful that I can't be bitter about people's choices, because they are theirs to make.

Sometimes my heart breaks for them.  Specially when I know the consequences.  And when they know the consequences and still go ahead.  And the consequences happen... to their shock.

And then the anger appears.  As though it is anyone's fault but their own.

Then the arrogance and pride kicks in.

And then the separation.

Good grief, let me move on!!!

Son #1 GOT MARRIED!!!!!!

The wedding was so beautiful.  It was on the 21st and needless to say, it was Christmas-y.  And dreamy; and romantic.  The bride, who is now my daughter in law, looked absolutely stunning.  I know brides are suppose to look like that, but if you saw her, you would agree with me.  

Speaking of.. I have a daughter in law!!!

How cool is that??!!??!

And I'm not gonna lie...she is a good DIL.  I pray we have a good relationship.  I love bragging about her.  She gives me loads to brag about.  :)

Grandson #1   gets cuter and cuter by the minute.  I don't know how we were the lucky ones who got such a cute grandson, but HEY....not going to complain.

The 'twins' are doing well.  True blue sisters.  Arguing, loving, laughing, helping, giving the skank eye, falling asleep in each other's bed when they are afraid of something, teaching and learning from each other.

Yup. they are doing quite well.

Love them to pieces.

They make it easy, too.

This new year is going to be good.  I hope to draw into a deeper relationship with my King.  When that happens, everything else will fall into place.

Not saying everything will be perfect.  In fact, things have a way to looking worse sometimes.  Just saying the anchor will be in the right place.

I wish you a holy and beautiful New Year.  May you know HIS presence.  HE does not need your belief or your love.  HE still is.  And I pray you get tot know HIM, and if you already do, may you know HIM better everyday.

The Day Life Stood Still. Again

Friday was a rough day.  We drove into the city for a Christmas Day in the City.  It is a yearly thing with us, and usually enjoyable.

This year was no different.  Mostly enjoyable...for the girl's sake.

But John, Samuel & I, we were burdened with the heartache in CT.

We heard the news on the drive in.  And seeing as how traffic in the city stinks, we heard a lot.

We enjoyed the Museum, Rockefeller Center, American Girls Place, ect...

And afterwards we ran home because our church had planned to get together at someone's house and go Christmas caroling.

How could we carol on such a day?

We decided we would still go door to door but NOT sing.  We had baked cookies to give and had a message of hope attached.  Not for the specific day, but for life.

Because our only hope is in HIM.

Anything else dies or fails at one point.

True story.

HE alone is Lord of everything.

That being said, we all struggle with 'how could a loving GOD allow such horror to happen to innocent children?'

I have used so many lines of reasoning in the past.  This Sunday our pastor said it in one sentence.

(GOD doesn't desire this!! Are you crazy??!!?)

But for GOD to take away evil, HE would need to take away free will.

There it is in a nutshell.

There in lies our truth.  HE will never MAKE you pick HIM.  HE will never make you be good or bad.  HE will never make you follow/love/serve HIM.  It is by your own choice, your own free will, your own decision.

One of the fathers of one of the victims stated this.  I cried.  This man has exactly the kind of faith I hope to walk. Always.  In the good, the bad, the ugly.  He was broken.  He was devastated. He was robbed.  He was forgiving.  He remained faithful. He continued to trust.

He stated it was a choice.  The kind of choices we ALL make every day.  Do we want to do good, or do we want to do evil?

This poor young man also had issues.

They are the kind of issues that are hard to face for some people.  I pray people are not ignorant enough to freak out about the mentally ill.  Not all mentally ill lose it to that level.  Sometimes the 'normal'  :P people are more violent/reckless/mindless.

There is the gun control issue.

Also a hard line of reasoning.  My thoughts on this are simple.  Most people who own guns legally are more often than not, responsible.  Many who don't own guns or are pro massive guns control are an enigma to me.  When asked innocently if they have M-rated for violence video games or watch or own Terentino films/Kill Bill type films that encourage mindless and reckless killing, this is your entertainment??!!??  Well they start getting all bent out of shape and say...it is just...fill in the blank.

I refuse to get into conversation with such people.  The hypocrisy is too great.

Yes, I am a gun person.

Yes, I know the great responsibility that goes with that.  May my life reflect that.  It is not just a right, it is a deep responsibility and solemn humbling decision.

The rest of the irresponsible/violent people who own guns, they really don't NEED a gun in order to kill if that is their intent.  I can attach too many links to this.  Too many to count.  I started to look it up and had to stop from the heartache, depression.  None of them involved guns.

The problem is...

We have a culture of death in our nation.

We glorify it in our entertainment.

We demand it with our unwanted unborn or our too old.

We are afraid of weapons because we no longer have a moral compass.

We have a culture of no personal responsibility in our nation.

We can no longer say something is wrong.  We live in a relative society.  If it works for you... There are no longer consequences for our children's actions. In fact, we excuse them and stick up for our children even of they are in the wrong and ignore our teacher's comments.  We no longer want the responsibility for raising our children.  We expect our schools to teach every little thing.  We gave up our responsibilities as parents and wonder where our children went wrong.

Parents used to ask teachers to tell them when Johhny or Suzie did something wrong.  They made it a point to demand it.  And when told what little Johnnie/Suzie did, they dealt with it.  The children knew something was coming, and it was not a reward. It was enough that the next time temptation came, they remembered the consequences.

But the reality is, there are boundaries.  There is good and bad. There are consequences that are worsein the end than if we dealt with them from the start here at home.

Yes, I know parents who are responsible.  Whether their child is at home, in public school or private school.  I say THANK YOU!!!  But they are a dwindling in numbers.

Fear and selfishness rules.

I suffer from this, too.

I fight it everyday.

I fail more often then I wish to admit.

I will make mistakes.

BUT I will not blame anything or anyone for my choices. And the consequenses for my choices.

I am no saint.  I think I say that all the time.  I know this for a fact.

I will continue to say it.

But this is a fact, too:

HE is KING.

Let HIM.

HE followed me in.

My oldest son gets married in 9 days!!  YES, can you believe it NINE days!!

You know what that means?

I REALLY needed to get my hair done.

It had been months.  Last night, my daughter and grandson ( have I mentioned he sure is beautiful??!!??) were over to the house for dinner.  I got more than a few suggestions on how to get said hair done.

Fair enough... it looked horrible.  Dead. Gross. Nasty. Wear-a-hat-every-single-day bad.

SO, this morning, off I went to get the roots done on my 'grey' streak, and a decent cut.

I went to my cousin's hair dresser.  My cousin is one of those people who always has fabulous hair.  I mean a.l.w.a.y.s.  I think she crawls our of bed looking like that.  I should sleep over one night to verify this.


ANYWAY, I figured, maybe she could do some kind of miracle.

Boy did she ever.

I walked in with the weight of the world in my heart.  It has been a hard, oppressive, spiritually drowning last couple of weeks. Maybe even months. But, hey...that is life sometimes, right?

I told her what I wanted done and as she told me later, she thought to herself...piece of cake.

And then...HE walked in.

Yes, that HE...the Great I AM.  The KING of KINGS, the ALMIGHTY, The Creator of Heaven and Earth, the Savior, Redeemer and Lord.

HIM.  Whom I love.  But I had forgotten why.

I can't even tell you how we started talking on this, but before I knew it, HE used her to remind me, to encourage me to continue the good fight, to get out of the pit, to remember who HE is, and who the enemy is, and who won.  To remember the HOPE, to remember the future, to remember today and to remember why we have knees.

I have stubborn hair.

LOL

It took over 2 hours to get it to the right color.  That Native American hair of mine.  I love it, and today I loved it even more.  It made me sit there and share/cry/laugh/hope/be encouraged/listen and, yes, even be still and know that HE is GOD.

So, this particular hair dresser is in the mall.  I hardly ever go to the mall.  Even if there are three 20 minutes from my house.

I think the people at the salon were not less than slightly freaked out, or at the least terribly curious.  These 2 crazy woman crying, laughing, sharing, getting excited, talking and crying again.  For over 2 hours.

HE is good.

All the time.

And my hair...well it looks pretty darn good, too.  AND...it feels like silk.

Wedding?  Bring it on.

My hair looks awesome, and heart is renewed.

Who knew??!!?

HE did.  <3