I got an email this morning, and I was disappointed. Again.
The thing is, I KNEW this would happen, I prepared for it. I made sure that the people had every opportunity to disappoint me. And in doing so, preparing myself for the inevidable. In fact, I made it so that they could disappoint me without me actually knowing about it!! But, alas. :P
I don't know why I allow myself to hope in this relationship. To tell you the truth, I will probably never give up hope. I will be a fool. I will put myself out there... when they let me. I will continue to put the ball in their court, wait and hope.
While the other part of me will be defeated.
GOD is good. HE has provided others to fill in the relationships. HE has been abundant. HE has been more than graceful.
I will be thankful.
In a week is our anniversary. I guess I was thinking about it this morning because last night, the girls and I wanted to watch Duck Dynasty's episode of when Miss Kay & Phil renewed their wedding vows. It was beautiful. Not because of anything other than the fact that they really had some rough times. And their motto is pretty much...To GOD be the glory. great things HE has done.
That is a good motto.
John was thinking of complaining because he doesn't rewatch anything. When he started to say something, I quickly mentioned that the girls requested it and knew that he would not say anything else. Because after all, they are his baby girls and then the discussion was over. This happens with the 25 year old baby girl, too. Still.
We are going to be at a mere 29 years. I would love to do out vows at our 30th. John is not a rewatch OR redo kind of guy. I can dream right? I mean, look at the beginning of this post. lol.
Yes, people, I am a fool.
I'm ok with that.
On another note, grandbaby boy #2 is going to have his first birthday in 2 months!!!
Why am I mentioning this 2 months ahead of time? Maybe because we do 1st birthdays big. The basic list already has 34ish people on it. And thats just my people. I haven't asked my daughter & son in law for their list yet. Or son in law's parents. lol. I love birthdays. Specially first birthdays. <3
Speaking of birthdays, The Chinese Peanut has one coming up soon. Like 12 days soon!!! She will be 7. Which blows my mind. She, too, is my rock and my peace. Her trust in me is undeserved and humbling, something I have to live up to constantly. Which makes me thankful.
OK, kiddos are finished with their quiet work, back to teaching!
Seek HIM. Be holy. Open yourselves up to others. Even if they reject you. Again.