HOME

We are home.

And as much as we love New England and enjoyed this...

...and breakfast overlooking the ocean...

...and sun all day, so much that we all came back looking like we were trying to catch up to Christian's skin color....

...and having the whole family, including grandbaby boys, stay together at the house all week...

We came home.  

After a summer like this summer, when we were away almost as much as we were home, it felt GREAT to unpack and put away the duffle bags, knowing it was for a long time.  

Or at least until October.

My sons at Mystic Pizza.  We go there WAY too often.  :P  Seriously. 

I begged and tried to get the family to go someplace else, but evidently, I can't mess with tradition.

Whatever.

My handsome with our youngest son.

2 peas in a pod.

Even though he looks like his brother, he has his father's personality.

Now, I get back to reality.  I will start cracking the books tomorrow, in order to get myself together for school.  It is just a whisper away from starting and I believe this year, I am behind. 

Which is not a good plan when our son starts high school.

But have no fear.  It will get done in time.

Speaking of school, last night I checked out the college we are thinking about in order to make sure we get everything in order and requirements are met if he decides to go.

College decision is definitely not a free for all in our home.  So picking a school is very intensive and backed up by much prayer.

And actually going to college is an option, not a requirement.  If by chance, his decision for his future requires it, then good golly, we will make sure he can get in.  But if he decides another option is better for his life, then I will still educate him to the best of my ability, we will do our best to get doors open for his choice, help along the way, and wish him well.

  I know, I know.

College is the 'holy grail' of life in the world.

But not in our home.

GOD, HIMSELF is the holy grail, and learning constant surrender to HIM is our goal.

Everything else is on another list.

Don't get me wrong.  Education is very important.  But it is not GOD.  It never will be.  I don't need bragging rights.  

I desire holy living.

And for my sons to be able to provide for their families. 

I remember in Proverbs there is a saying I will paraphrase:

Don't make me rich that I will forget you, don't make me poor that I steal and dishonor you.

And I add: 

And please don't make me lukewarm, that I am comfortable with the world.

Enough on my sermon.

It is good to be home.

And to look forward to school.

And to sacrifice for HIM in order to live.

Life is good.  GOD is even better!! 

Africa

See this beautiful girl?  She is our daughter.

She is delightful, a joy, mischievous, is learning to love Jesus, and finds ways to be a blessing.

She is athletic, tall, loves to learn, explore, and also humble.

She is from DRC.

 It took us a while to get her.  Mostly due to state side paper work.  It was exhausting, expensive and we saw the incompetence while working with cis.  Sometimes I would tell myself, they are just making sure, they are just making sure.  Except for the fact that their 'making sure' cost us more money at every turn.  hmmmm....

Facebook is something that I was not really interested in, in general.  I was one of the last of my friends to get it. I got it because it was a photobucket for my oldest daughter when she lived in VA.  She wanted to 'see' everything all the time.  FB made it easy.  I got one with a pseudo-ish name.  I wasn't ( still not, really) interested in finding friends I haven't seen in 462 years.  After all, if that was important to me, I would still talk to them.

I utilize it more from information than anything.  Yes, I do 'see' friends from afar and it works well for that, too.  But in general, info, baby, info.

One of my favorite movies, probably top 5 is The Constant Gardener.  It is was made from a John La Carre book but got me thinking.  Made me start research, both sides because quite frankly, I did not want to believe the Big Pharma Thing out there.  I'd heard some things for years, and saw things I denied in my heart and researching would have caused me to rethink and I knew one of us was wrong.  I wasn't about to let it be me.

I love to research things; sometimes, though, it takes me a little longer to start because of pride.

The movie also gave me a peek into Africa, though adopting from there was not even close to being on our radar at the time.  Our youngest son went to Africa for 6 weeks, I asked him if that was what it looked like.  He got that far away look in his eyes, remembering, and said, " Exactly."

I just gave you 3 random things, that have virtually nothing to do with each other.

On the surface.

On facebook yesterday, someone who is in our loop who is adopting from DRC posted this article.

Please take time to read it, even if you don't finish my tirade here.

On first reading, I was SO thankful our daughter is home.  I am no longer in that part of that process, I can continue to bond with her, can hug her, tickle her, laugh with her, teach her, read to her... yes, we have our daughter.

Then I read it again, and that is when I read the other stuff.

And seriously, it ticked me off.

I know someone from our DRC loop that, well,  2 of her 3 children died while she was waiting, doing and redoing her paper work to bring them home.  Another had her son die.  Time and again I read the emails asking for prayer because #1. they are devastated and grieving or #2. their child is in serious need of medical/emtional help and needs to get home.

Having gone through the process of foreign adoption 2x in 3 years, from different nations, I know that side of politics.

Having researched from books, internet, actual people, medical articles, political articles, etc... on the devastation of the 'altruistic' movement of 'certain' companies, it ticks me off even more.

I hate to be so cynical.  Really,  sometimes I think it can't be GODly.  But then GOD told us to be 'shwred are serpents, innocent as doves'.




So, see how it all ties in together?



I get it.  There are evil people who are in the buying/selling of children and sometimes these children get in to the adoption circle.  Truly tragic, and I can understand the investigations and process.  I whole heatedly agree with it.  But once it is done, what is the problem??!?

I get the, why adopt?  Why not send money out there to help the families do it themselves?  Again, I agree.  But what happens to the orphans?  What happens to the children whose parents died from malnutrition, diseases, war, were abandoned, have no hope, or very little hope to make it to age 5?  What happens when the adult family members can't feed everyone?  Seriously people, kids are still dying and we never hear of it.

Our daughter's father died in the after-war war.  Her mother was deathly sick when she brought her in to the orphanage. Her mom asked and wrote letters requesting her daughter be given a chance, to be adopted, to give her hope. We have them.  Our daughter was 2 years old and weighed 19 pounds.

After hearing something interesting, challenging or just random in general, My first question is...who benefits what?

At the end of the day, unfortunately, money talks, everything else walks.

Sad but true.

If you think of it, or if GOD brings it to your mind, please pray for those orphans waiting for a chance.  Pray for the parents whose arms are still empty, waiting.  I remember those years.  They are awful.

And if you read the article, you know international adoptions here in the USA have gone down 60% in the past 8 years.  :::sigh:::  If you can't adopt, maybe sponsor?  Maybe pray?  Maybe get out there and live amongst those who need help...  but definitely seek HIS face for your role in this situation.

Remember, Jesus never said our lives were meant to be lived for ourselves.

It is time to get out of the American Church where wealth and prosperity reigns, were our retirement plan is supreme. It is time to go out into the world and live it out.  Even if the world you are called to is across the street, get out there!!  Children and their parents are dying, if not physically, most certainly spiritually.

And here we are, thinking about what to wear to church on Sunday morning.

I am just as guilty, so don't think I am pointing the finger at you.  I am looking in the mirror, and I certainly do not like what I see.

Do you?

Lessons learned, or trying to learn.

We took some of our youth to Cleveland 2 weeks ago.

It was the most physically uncomfortable time of my adult life, but it was one of the best times I have walk through.  We stayed in a synagogue-turned-church that had no air conditioning, and we slept on the 4th floor.

I had to keep reminding myself, people used to live in this weather and wear long sleeve shirts and long dresses with layers underneath.  So I had to keep telling myself: Buck up Buttercup.

I learn a few lessons that week.  I really went just to chaperone and prayed furiously for the teens and the people we were going to minister to, but hadn't thought to pray for myself.

Still GOD shows up in spite of ourselves.

Lesson #1: Never stop believing GOD still does great things.  Not that I don't know that intellectually, but watching it with my own four eyes, not being the American cynic, remembering GOD ALMIGHTY, CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND EARTH is still at work, if only we opened our eyes, or even gave HIM a chance to work...  reminds me of my immaturity in HIM. :::sigh:::

Lesson #2: Give a teen a purpose and s/he will fulfill it.  Again intellectually I know this, why do we dumb down and expect so little from them??!!??!

Lesson #3:  Think BIG!  Seriously, no one thinks big anymore.  They just think money.  Or self purpose. Or personal desires.  Think big means get out of your self and go against the flow.

I came home and reflected, and am still reflecting on some of these.

A few days ago, I watched a documentary.  I love documentaries.  Lately, I have been watching nutrition & lifestyle documentaries, and quite frankly, I am tired of them.  Well, not tired, but need a break.  So the other night, I was looking through Netflix documentaries and decided to watch 180South.  I don't know why I picked it, but I don't regret it.

I think about 'why' a lot.  Mostly coming from my faith, or lack thereof.  How to challenge myself to seek HIM deeper.

Believe it or not, this movie helped me in this area.  The only reference they made to any sort of religion was one buddist-based sentence.  But still, as I watched, GOD kept showing up, kept talking to me through this film.

GOD is good.  All the time.

I am about  to embarking on a scary unknown.  At least to me.

But HE is good.

And I will cling to HIM, through the fear, through the tears, through the unknown.  I did not pick this, but it is mine.

And I will continue to reflect and try to learn more lessons.  I love to learn.  Even when I don't want to. Actually, those are the lessons that are the best.

Ask HIM to give you some lessons.

HE is faithful.

I leave you with these quotes from the movie: 

(excuse the 'french', but it speaks to me)

The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn't even think to ask.~ Jeff Johnson

Taking a trip for six months to get in the rhythm of it. It feels like you can go on forever doing that. Climbing Everest is the ultimate and the opposite of that. Because you get these high powered plastic surgeons and CEO's, they pay $80,000 and have sherpas put the ladders in place and 8000 feet of fixed ropes and you get to the camp and you don't even have to lay out your sleeping bag. It's already laid out with a chocolate mint on the top. The whole purpose of planning something like Everest is to effect some sort of spiritual and physical gain and if you compromise the process, you're an asshole when you start out and you're an asshole when you get back. ~ Yvon Chouinard

Denial.

Tonight, Samuel and I watched an Areosmith video.  You know....Don't Want To Miss A Thing.

I told him that he probably did it because his daughter was in the movie.

To which he responded...and I quote:  " WHAT?"

Me:  " You know, his daughter."

Samuel: " WHAT?"

Me " Liv Tyler, his daughter."

Samuel: ' WHAT??!!??!!"

Me: " Well, look at them, you can see the resembelence!"

Samuel:  " WHAT??!!??!"


Me: just staring at him.

Samuel:  "NO WAY!!!!"


It took google and seeing some pictures to convince him that Steve TYLER could be Liv TYLER's father.

He is still appalled.  In in semi-denial.

Guys.

Whatever.


But still it also made me in the mood to watch the movie again.  Not a chance, WhO HaS tHe TiMe??!!?, but it is a nice thought.

Tonight, he also found his long lost retainer.  And now he is moaning and groaning as his teeth TRY to get back into place.

Because quite frankly, it makes me mad to have spent so much money and him mess it up by constantly losing his retainers.

He thought, " Oh I'll find it, pop it in my mouth and it will be fine, mom."

Go upstairs and look at his face.  Not as fine as he thought.

He was in denial.

Again.

My turn.

I will be okay when I chaperone our church's teens missions trip next week, and be so busy I probably will not miss the girls.

Duh.

Denial.

I am actually looking forward to going and pray we have a holy and fun time, but #1, I WILL miss the girls, terribly and #2 it will be the first time I do this without The Love of My Life.  We have always done this together, but he is so busy with work, he can't go this time around, and denial #3:it is okay.  It is really not okay, but it is.  If you get what I mean.  Not sure I like it, but it is not about me.

Denial.  It is more than the river in Egypt.  Sometimes it is a way of life.

Another confession:

I envy people, and not in a holy kind of way like when they are super neat and you envy them and wish you could be the same, but not get angry and resentful over it, but wish you could walk alongside them, envy... but the real deal envy.

Where you DO resent them and need to confess.

And you start resenting others because they don't help you get what you want.

I resent people who have air conditioning.

Specially on hot humid days like today.  

We have window units.  And R2D2.  Which is a unit that is pretty big and you can roll it around where ever you want it.  Though it works ok to get the humidity out, my house is too small to have that much floor space taken.

I know what you are thinking.  Every year, about this time, I start to complain about not having AC.

You are RIGHT.

It certainly doesn't help that the Love Of My Life is an HVAC contractor.  

Nope.  That doesn't help at all.

Moving on.  Speaking of the LOML.  Even though it is slightly frustrating the whole AC thing, during church this past Sunday, we were singing this song, and it got me thinking about him.  I can't thank GOD enough for that man. 

That is all it comes down to.  

I am deeply thankful.   Thankful for all he does, says, is, and seeks to be.

I may not agree with him, but I can't deny his heart treasure.

Yup.  He is a keeper.

Speaking of keepers.  I need to go get me some honey from the elderly gentleman who is our local bee keeper.  I wish I was a bee keeper.

But I am not.

For now.

All My Children

Confession #5,890,345,703,498,534 for the year :

Yes, there was a time when my older children were babies, that I watched a soap opera.  Of course that being All My Children.

I remember the moment I realized I was addicted.  I had been watching it for about a year, when I was on the phone with the pediatrician.  I was making an appointment and when she gave me a few time options, I picked the one that would not conflict with my soap.

After I hung up the phone, I realized what I did.  From that moment on, I stopped watching it.  I was NOT going to live and revolve my life around A SOAP OPERA!!!  WhAt??!!?

And yes, I was a Christian at the time.  Man, those things are so deceptive, it takes about 10 minutes to get you hooked and 5 more minutes to numb your morals.

Sad, but true.

Now, being the random crazy-headed person that I am, I told you that story for absolutely no reason at all.

True story.

Actually, I was going to talk about the fact that all my children were here for dinner tonight.


And I have to say, it was pretty awesome.  I grilled and we ate outside.  It was the perfect evening, with a cool breeze and beautiful moon.  The boys made a video which lasted 15 seconds TOPS, but took them about 45 minutes to make.  It was hilarious!!!  Poor April, she gets talked into 'doing her part', but she is a good sport about it.  If I knew how to grab something from instagram and put it on here, I would.  But I don't, so I won't.

VBS starts next week!  I mean all of 36 hours from now!  We are ready!!!!!!

The stuff that has been happening has been ridiculous and quite frankly, you would probably laugh at the crazy road blocks behind the scenes.  But in 36ish hours, we will have a whole passel of children walk through our doors, and we will have the opportunity to present to them Truths, Hope, Love, GOD , HIMSELF.  

Totally worth all the drama.

The girls are about jumping out of their skin with excitement.  This is Christian's first, and Elly has been talking it up so much, she can hardly wait.  It is a constant, " How much more time, mommy?"

I finally told her a long time.  Since she just can't wait, even an hour more will feel like forever for the poor child.

GOD is good.

I need to go do the dishes and go to bed.  It has been a week of putting out fires and calming panic attacks.

And now I am tired.

I pray you have a restful Lord's Day, and seek HIM deeply.

CHEESE!!!!

So, again, thankful for peanuts.  Specially peanuts that come from China & Africa.  <3

I have this cd that the girls love to listen to in the car; it is hymns sung by kids.

I may have mentioned once or twice before, I am a hymns gal.  Enjoy worship music, but hymn lover at heart.

Another confession: I tend to tune out when the kiddos are talking unless they are specifically talking to me.  Probably from the simple fact that they just never stop talking in general.  There is just no way a sane person can keep up with that 24/7.  And I never claimed to be sane, so forget it.  No hope there.

This particular hymn came on and again, totally tuned out.   But then they got to singing real loud-like.

Made me tune in for a second or 2.

Let me introduce you to a hymn.

It is called Bringing In The Sheaves.  Good old time religion type hymn.

At the moment I tuned in, I heard the girls singing " We shall come rejoicing bringing in the cheese."

I looked in the rear view mirror to see if this particular song made them go...huh?

Nope.

They just sang along like it made sense.

Which ...um...WhAt??!!??!

I got their attention and lovingly ( at least I hope it sounded lovingly, because quite frankly, I was trying real hard not to laugh at the situation.  Again) told then it was Sheaves.  Sheaves. And I explained to them what sheaves were.

And then I asked them why they thought it said cheese.

All of a sudden they both started laughing like crazy.

I guess they tuned into their own yapping.

Which kind of made me glad I am not the only one who tunes them out.  :P

Anyway, they just giggled and laughed and snorted and general lost control.

The cd continued and they sang along with the other hymns, trying to gain some sort of composure.

But you know that time between songs when there is about 2 or 3 seconds of silence?

One of them would say "cheese" and the laugh fest would continue.

At one point Christian said to me " Mommy, make me stop laughing!!!  My cheeks hurt too much!!!!"

Then Elly said 'cheese' and it started all over again.

( Just curious, but how cold I have possibly stopped her from laughing??!?? I was driving and quietly enjoying the sound of laughter coming from the back seat.)

Life is good.

GOD is even better.

May your life be abundant with cheese.

And may you be blessed with cheeks that hurt too much.