Friday was a rough day. We drove into the city for a Christmas Day in the City. It is a yearly thing with us, and usually enjoyable.
This year was no different. Mostly enjoyable...for the girl's sake.
But John, Samuel & I, we were burdened with the heartache in CT.
We heard the news on the drive in. And seeing as how traffic in the city stinks, we heard a lot.
We enjoyed the Museum, Rockefeller Center, American Girls Place, ect...
And afterwards we ran home because our church had planned to get together at someone's house and go Christmas caroling.
How could we carol on such a day?
We decided we would still go door to door but NOT sing. We had baked cookies to give and had a message of hope attached. Not for the specific day, but for life.
Because our only hope is in HIM.
Anything else dies or fails at one point.
HE alone is Lord of everything.
That being said, we all struggle with 'how could a loving GOD allow such horror to happen to innocent children?'
I have used so many lines of reasoning in the past. This Sunday our pastor said it in one sentence.
(GOD doesn't desire this!! Are you crazy??!!?)
But for GOD to take away evil, HE would need to take away free will.
There it is in a nutshell.
There in lies our truth. HE will never MAKE you pick HIM. HE will never make you be good or bad. HE will never make you follow/love/serve HIM. It is by your own choice, your own free will, your own decision.
One of the fathers of one of the victims stated this. I cried. This man has exactly the kind of faith I hope to walk. Always. In the good, the bad, the ugly. He was broken. He was devastated. He was robbed. He was forgiving. He remained faithful. He continued to trust.
He stated it was a choice. The kind of choices we ALL make every day. Do we want to do good, or do we want to do evil?
This poor young man also had issues.
They are the kind of issues that are hard to face for some people. I pray people are not ignorant enough to freak out about the mentally ill. Not all mentally ill lose it to that level. Sometimes the 'normal' :P people are more violent/reckless/mindless.
There is the gun control issue.
Also a hard line of reasoning. My thoughts on this are simple. Most people who own guns legally are more often than not, responsible. Many who don't own guns or are pro massive guns control are an enigma to me. When asked innocently if they have M-rated for violence video games or watch or own Terentino films/Kill Bill type films that encourage mindless and reckless killing, this is your entertainment??!!?? Well they start getting all bent out of shape and say...it is just...fill in the blank.
I refuse to get into conversation with such people. The hypocrisy is too great.
Yes, I am a gun person.
Yes, I know the great responsibility that goes with that. May my life reflect that. It is not just a right, it is a deep responsibility and solemn humbling decision.
The rest of the irresponsible/violent people who own guns, they really don't NEED a gun in order to kill if that is their intent. I can attach too many links to this. Too many to count. I started to look it up and had to stop from the heartache, depression. None of them involved guns.
The problem is...
We have a culture of death in our nation.
We glorify it in our entertainment.
We demand it with our unwanted unborn or our too old.
We are afraid of weapons because we no longer have a moral compass.
We have a culture of no personal responsibility in our nation.
We can no longer say something is wrong. We live in a relative society. If it works for you... There are no longer consequences for our children's actions. In fact, we excuse them and stick up for our children even of they are in the wrong and ignore our teacher's comments. We no longer want the responsibility for raising our children. We expect our schools to teach every little thing. We gave up our responsibilities as parents and wonder where our children went wrong.
Parents used to ask teachers to tell them when Johhny or Suzie did something wrong. They made it a point to demand it. And when told what little Johnnie/Suzie did, they dealt with it. The children knew something was coming, and it was not a reward. It was enough that the next time temptation came, they remembered the consequences.
But the reality is, there are boundaries. There is good and bad. There are consequences that are worsein the end than if we dealt with them from the start here at home.
Yes, I know parents who are responsible. Whether their child is at home, in public school or private school. I say THANK YOU!!! But they are a dwindling in numbers.
Fear and selfishness rules.
I suffer from this, too.
I fight it everyday.
I fail more often then I wish to admit.
I will make mistakes.
BUT I will not blame anything or anyone for my choices. And the consequenses for my choices.
I am no saint. I think I say that all the time. I know this for a fact.
I will continue to say it.
But this is a fact, too:
HE is KING.